Conflicted

Emmalee

No, Romain isn't my brother. But that's what we're expected to be, and even he sees me as a sister. He's never treated me as anything more than that.

"So he's not your brother?" Soren asks, sounding confused.

"He's kind of my brother," I explain.

"But he's the one who opened the gate for us?" he says. "Why is he treated like an employee if he's kind of your brother?"

I change the subject quickly and start showing him around. Soren doesn't say much, and I can tell right away that he's not interested in any of this. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, but at the same time, I can't make myself seem more enthusiastic than this.

When we reach the edge of the lake right behind our house, we stare at the glittering surface of the water. Memories of perfect summers invade my memory. I see Romain and I swimming and playing games in the water, and my heart warms right away even though the temperatures are dropping and it's quite cold out here.

Soren comments, "Your territory is charming."

"Thanks," is all I can say.

A few moments later, we're interrupted by approaching footsteps. When I turn my head, I see my brother Cade walking toward us. He's sixteen—two years younger than me—but he's way taller than me. His eyes are on Soren, and then they land on me.

"Hey," he says, which makes Soren turn around. He extends his hand, and says, "I'm Cade, Emmalee's brother. You're Soren Cimmerian?"

"Yes," Soren says while shaking his hand. There's a small smile on his lips as he says this. "I take it you're Emmalee's real brother?"

"Ah, you've found out about Romain," Cade says while stepping back. "He's our real brother, too. Well, it depends on what you describe as real. He's been there for as long as I remember, so of course I consider him my real brother."

I smile at Cade, and he winks covertly at me. Soren raises his hands, smiles, and says, "I don't mean to be rude. I'm just trying to understand since I'll be a part of the family soon."

Just like that, his mood has changed, and I have Cade to thank for this. When he's smiling, Soren doesn't look so bad, and when his eyes meet mine, he seems excited for once. It makes me feel bad for not feeling the same way about him.

We're going to spend the rest of our lives together, and I can't find it in myself to feel anything toward him.

"Emmalee, did you show him the stables?" Cade asks. "Our father keeps horses. He's a fan of them."

"I love horses," Soren proclaims.

"Let's go?" Cade asks, looking at me.

I nod, but from the corner of my eye, I see a shadow. I turn my head and see Romain standing behind a tree. He tries to hide and act like he isn't there, but he does a poor job of it.

We start toward the stables, but I look and see Romain peering at us again. This makes me stop and say, "You know what? You two go ahead. I have to go to the bathroom."

Cade arches a brow at me, and looks at me like that was a very strange thing to say. Soren nods mildly, and I watch the two of them walk ahead.

Once I'm sure they're not looking, I race to where Romain is standing. He tries to run away, but I say loudly, "I've already seen you, stalker! And don't make me run in my sundress! How long have you been standing here?"

Romain pauses and turns around to face me. He seems embarrassed that he's been caught. "I'm just making sure you're okay."

"Okay?" I echo. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

He folds his arms and leans against the tree. "It's clear that you're not into this whole thing, Emmalee. I don't know who you think you're kidding."

I frown. "I'm not kidding anyone."

"Are you sure?" he asks while skewering me with his silver gaze. His thick dark eyebrows are forming a knot above his eyes, and his lips are in a thin line.

"What do you mean?" I ask. My heart is beating fast, and it feels way too hot all of a sudden.

Romain scoffs. "Come on, Emmalee. You can lie to everyone else, but you can't lie to me."

"Why?" I ask angrily. "Because you know me so well?"

"Better than you know yourself."

"That's just ridiculous," I claim. If he knew me so well, he'd know how I felt about him, and he doesn't, so this whole conversation is pointless. "Look, I have to be heading back. Cade and Soren are waiting for me."

I take a step away from him, and he immediately grabs my arm. The strength of his grip shocks me, and I find myself staring at his hand wrapped around my upper arm with wide eyes. He says, "At least tell me that you're doing this because you have to. Because you don't have a choice."

"Why do you need to hear that?" I ask in a low voice. "What if I do care about Soren?"

A muscle in his jaw ticks as he fights to stay calm. "I just need to hear it."

"Why?"

"Don't ask too many questions, Emmalee," he warns. "Just tell me the truth."

I tear my arm away from his grip, and he lets me go. We've never had a conversation this confusing before, and I don't know what to make of this. "It doesn't matter how I feel, can't you see that? I have to marry Soren. What I feel is irrelevant."

"No, it's not," he claims in a low voice. He closes the distance between us, and he's standing so close that his warm scent invades my nostrils. "It matters to me, okay?"

I stare into his eyes, and ask again, "Why?"

His throat bobs and he raises his hand to brush away the hair that the wind blew in my face. "Because I'm tired of pretending, Emmalee."

Before I can ask him what he means, he presses his lips against mine.