Chapter 5

Thalia

My mind couldn't help but wander into the past as he carried me to his house, that we used to call ours.

Five years of separation changed him-us. I tried to build my life from what he had left of me. I took a refresher course on secretarial for five months, almost spending all the money I saved. Applied for that particular job at one of the most high-profiting company in the state, and ended up using my first pay to get a decent apartment. I tried going home to my family but they were—they told me that I couldn't be in their house again. I kind of expected it that they would treat me that way, but it still hurt me, I didn't know why but they were different since I was a child.

So, I happily devoted all of my time on my job, I had gained friends, and I almost didn't think about Ryder all the time—I almost didn't reminisce about the sweetest parts of our lives and decide to go back to him, I almost didn't cry myself to sleep every night. Almost.

I opted that to fully forget him, I must find someone better than him and I did, so many times, but it all only lasted for a week or two. They suddenly left or wanted to break up, said they didn't want to do it anymore. They even told me about getting punched by some guy or something, just to have a reason to go.

And then, after two years of happily working in the finance department, I resigned, because I couldn't take my boss anymore. He was such a huge pervert, that he basically wanted to hump everything with a skirt. At first I wasn't exactly aware because he was nice and helped me with things I was not familiar with, but when it escalated to the point where he'd corner me in places where there were less people and whisper—gag—sexual things, I kneed him in the balls twice and then submitted my resignation letter the next day.

I immediately handed my resumé to companies that I thought would hire me, but not even one thought to invite me for the final interview. I didn't know what was wrong, was there something I mistyped in my papers? Were my requirements complete? Did I follow the proper format? I didn't know, so, I went for a physical interview, where you go directly to the hiring company with your requirements and wait in line to be called.

There, I got to know why, my past asshat boss didn't submit my resignation letter to the HR and printed a fake certificate of release, so I was AWOL with a bad personality—according to that prick—and no one wanted to hire an employee like that.

I had to move to a less luxurious apartment to cut down expenses. I took another two jobs to support my other financial needs, part-time tutor and a utility woman at a hospital a couple blocks from my apartment.

There was really the time when everything one worked so hard to build—rebuilt in my case—would crumble because of just one thing. It was like fate was testing whether that person's strong enough to live and survive the storms of life.

In my case it came in a form of a paper from the Gold Union Bank. They hadn't been able to update my new address to their system so, all the loan-letters from them were sent to my old apartment in those past three years, and as I looked at the five-almost-six digit number plus-interest printed on the letter, l couldn't help but feel like my world was starting to crumble again, for a different reason this time, and it also stated that they would have to acquire my belongings and savings of the same amount for safe keeping until I paid them in full cash.

When I started my job, I felt that I needed a car for an easier access of transportation, and then came the indulgences, I thought that I must look presentable for work, so I applied for a credit card—which was thankfully approved—for clothes and other accessories.

I compensated the things that I got by working hard, but it didn't end there, I found myself wanting to accessorize myself, to feel beautiful, to slap on Ryder's face that I could live without him or his money, I got overconfident that I wouldn't ever get fired from work, that I'd make enough money to pay those things I acquired and earn after. Well, guess what, I didn't get fired, I quit, cutting all the flow of good-money and stopping the payment of everything.

Thoughts of taking my life appeared in my head a couple of times, it was an easy escape to put an end to my sufferings, but it always got squashed. My mind grazed on the account that Ryder set up for me, except my pride kept me from going to the bank and withdrawing the amount I so much needed.

It was that time when I was waiting for the bus as I just finished my janitorial job and was going home. I heard loud pops—like firecrackers—and the sound was moving, coming to my direction. I didn't care at first because I was focused on the arrival of the bus. And then a very fast car whizzed by, it was so fast that I didn't even see it coming, followed by another two with the same speed. And with bewilderment, I suddenly found myself on the ground face-down.

I tried to move but the excruciating pain all over my body extricated a whaling shout from me. Nothing was clear, even my thoughts, I was just there crying out in an unknown pain with darkness slowly obscuring my vision, until there was none.

I woke up in a room and it was so hard to breathe. My movement seemed restricted that I could only roam my eyes to observe my surroundings. I was there for a long time, I didn't even know if it was days, months or just mere hours.

I could already move my limbs the next time I was conscious, I could get up, and startled when I found a man sitting in one of the hospital chairs beside my bed.

He told me his name was Jesse. He said that I was shot twice in the back, one in the right shoulder and another grazed my left leg.

I told him I was feeling fine already and wanted to leave and that I couldn't afford to lose my jobs. We got into a series of fake-and-block, where he blocked the door I was trying to get access and I took advantage of my petite height to get past him and still failed.

I was in hysterics, shouting, throwing pillows at him, and to probably calm me down, he told me he knew a job with a very high salary and he could help me get in. His words calmed me down—because, duh, money—but I was still suspicious.

True to his word, Jesse hooked me up with the job, an assistant to a manager in an accounting firm. It was nice, my previous office work's pay couldn't even reach half of the monthly salary I was told.

The killing-people thing, I accidentally discovered in my first day of work. I got lost in the building, went up and down the elevator multiple times, I even asked the reception area but took their directions wrong, and so, I ended up gate-crashing a meeting. I think they were in the part where they show gruesome crimes done, because that was where the slide was.

My world literally stopped, no one talked, no one moved. I thought I was going to die that day because I bolted and ran.

I still went to work the next day and found Jesse waiting for me in the lobby. He told me he was sent to kill me to which I nearly vomited upon hearing. Long-story-short, it was his sick joke, he came to tell me that I was assigned to a different department. A special one.

I worked in the archives of that department, arranging and preparing files of people—big people—who were meant to die, because the were bad. Occasionally, they train their employees offensive and defensive combats, firearm shooting, and rarely promote people like me to take on field missions.

So, short-story-shorter, I worked there for two years and finally promoted to do field missions. I was lucky to be with Jesse in the team along with "boss" whom I never met before. Jesse told me about how to kill people—haha, what a happy positive topic—and thus, we begun scouting the target.

Rumored small time drug-lord, had a lot of women, and an owner of a club. Poison Fingers. That was just a couple of blocks from the hospital I used to work. We went to the bar one night after months of observing, I was assigned to scout the area and observe the target while in com-contact with my two teammates. I sat at the bar's tall stools and I immediately recognized him. He sat on his chair like a king with servants of curvy, half-naked women to do his bidding. He entertained every female that came to sit with him so there wouldn't be a problem getting close to him. He had only two guards with him and another two outside of what seemed like an office, it looked like he was assured that no one would want to harm him if he had just that many lookouts. There were no security cameras inside, just at the entrance.

As I left, I met with the two to formulate a plan. One, get him to notice me. Two, get him alone, and three, assess if I can restrain him-if not, then I go for the kill, Jesse would be staying close to me for back up.

And then, surprise, surprise—enter Ryder—the night we decided to act was the night he decided he needed to kill our target. He could have had just left after taking out Perez and let us had the victory, but no! He went and used his batman voice and man-handled me to the fire exit! Cornered me on his car's door after, and made my body react like a mad woman in heat!

Oh, how could I forget, he just killed a man, but for what reason? Shouldn't we be talking first about that instead of his cheating streaks? Another problem, the trust of my team in me to execute the mission just turned to liquid shit!

I probably wouldn't be able to sleep, thinking they were probably (?) looking for me thinking I bailed out and were out to probably dispose me, and probably die with my eyes peeled open, but it was better than to be with a billionaire—who'd turned shady—sitting in the house all day, hoping he'd return early from his duty, when in the fucking fact, he was in a club surrounded by strippers having a good time.

The click of the door being opened brought me back to the present, still being carried upside-down by my captor.

A question dangled in my mind. It threatened to come out, but I was hesitant to ask.

Oh, just get it out there, it was his choice if he answered it.

"Ryder, did you ever think of moving on?" From me.

He answered in a heartbeat, "It never grazed my mind, baby. It's you or no one at all."