Chapter 6

Four Years Ago

Lauren opened the door for her friend. “You look exhausted! Did you get any sleep Clare or did you just lay awake thinking about that miserable bastard?” She asked her friend.

“I could not sleep Lauren. Would anyone?” Her mind was all over the place. Her heart had sunk the pain she felt was beyond anything she could compare. The lump at the back of her throat ached so much; she could not take it anymore. She wanted to run back, to pretend this was not happening. Why had she allowed herself to be taken in by Lauren, to go with everything she had told her? “I can’t help thinking this isn’t the answer, Lauren.”

“Of course, it’s the answer. What is wrong with you Clare? We’ve talked about this and almost nothing else in the last eighteen months. We have planned and planned it. How can it wrong? Do you want to live like that forever?” She was not going to stand by and watch her friend become more and more lost to herself. She had to fight for her, if Clare was not going to fight for her own life, then someone bloody well had to.

“I know we have.” Her voice wobbled, she looked out of the kitchen window and focused on the pansies on the patio. Anything to stop her from breaking down. “It’s ok to cry.” Lauren assured her and gave her a hug. “You don’t need to bottle up here you know.” She said more softly, thinking she had probably been too tough on her. “It’s safe here Clare. No one will call you names or put you down. Nobody is going to tell you, you’re a cry baby and that you’re pathetic.” Clare could only nod her head and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. Lauren gave her a tissue. Clare took it and made her way down the hall to the downstairs toilet. Lauren sighed as she heard Clare blow her nose. She walked after her and looked her in the eyes, “you are not in this alone!”

A couple of hours later the car was packed and Clare looked at the bags in the boot that she had bought some months ago. The first place he would come looking was at her best friend’s house. As far as Jonathan was concerned, it was the only friend she had. The life of secrecy she had lived for nearly three years had been hard and crippling. Mentally she was worn out, where she was going to get the strength from, she did not know.

“No turning back Clare. Promise me!” Lauren implored her. “You need to stay strong and focused. I know you are a mess right now and I know you are vulnerable. Leon is expecting you; he’ll take good care of you ok”. She dropped the new mobile in her hand. “All the contacts you need are already on there now give me your phone; we need to throw it away. You know Jonathan will be here soon. He’s predictable Clare and use that to your advantage!”

Clare knew Jonathan’s number by heart, if she wanted to call him, she simply could. Leon had stressed to her numerous times she could not leave any traces or any way of being tracked.

“You’ve got enough petrol in the car to get you to Carlisle. When you get there, you can stop anywhere you like. The cash is in the glove box. The rest is in the spare wheel compartment and Leon has more for you.

It was drizzling and the sky was grey, it made Clare’s heart feel even heavier than it had. Part of her knew this was the only way she was going to survive. The other part wanted to go back to the home she’d had with him. Maybe I have just been dramatic she tried to reason with herself. Perhaps it’s all just been in my head. What if this is normal and I am really at fault? The questions were swamping her.

Lauren pushed back a strand of Clare’s hair and tucked it behind her ear. “Clare listens to me. Stop having doubts. I can see it in your eyes.” Clare nodded. They were like chalk and cheese now. One strong and determined focused like a panther and its prey. The other, meek and mild battered by emotional torture and brutal possessiveness, that at times she had felt strangled.

Clare looked at Lauren. She took in the slender woman; they were about the same height five-foot six and wore the same size 8 clothes. Only Lauren’s hair was long and auburn, poker straight naturally. They had spent many, many nights at college, Lauren quipping about wanting super curly, natural blond hair like Clare, and Clare wanting the glossy, straight mane of her best friend. Neither was prepared to do anything about it.

Lauren’s green eyes were like emeralds, she had her Irish ancestry to thank for such beauty and bone structure to die for. Whereas Clare equally as beautiful and stunning, was naturally blonde, her hair curly with luminous blue eyes, the perfect shade of the sky on a spring day.

“Be careful driving and text me on the number stored in the phone ok. It is a different one just for you and Leon. No one has it so do not share it. Remember what we discussed Clare. You don’t use any cards just the cash until you see Leon. He has everything you need. Now go. We don’t have time for endless goodbyes. Once he knows you are not at work, he will start looking for you.”

The plan was being executed and Lauren would not be relieved until it was all over. But first she needed Clare to be on her way. The young women hugged each other tightly. “Last thing, you’re Rebecca now. Doesn’t matter who you meet between now and Leon, that is the name you are using and put that wig on. You know he will go to any lengths to drag you back. If he can’t have you no-one can. He’s got friends everywhere and in all the right places. The man should have been a bloodhound.” At least this brought a faint smile to Clare’s mouth.

Clare started the engine and pulled off the drive. She knew she should stick to the plan, but she could not she had to see the house one last time. The only memories her heart was now holding onto were the good ones. His smile, the way he held her. Buried below for now were the comments and the reckless words that had broken her down and shattered her core. The ones that made her want to kill him.

From where she parked on the road, slightly obscured from the large birch tree in front of their house, Clare watched as Jonathan stood at the window with his mobile to his ear.

Stupid cow, he thought to himself. She’s probably forgotten to charge her bloody mobile. He had tried calling it several times in the last thirty minutes, he had drummed it into her, to call him as soon as she was at work. The frustration and anger were mounting inside him. She knew she had to check in with him, she continued to watch him and did nothing.

Jimmy’s office line rang. “Hello Jimmy speaking.”

“Jonathan here, Clare’s partner. I can’t get hold of her; she’s probably got a dead battery. Never charges it properly. Has she arrived at work?” He asked. Something in Jimmy’s stomach churned. His mind worked over-time and hist gut told him to be careful of what he would say.

“I’ve only just arrived mate. Can’t say for sure.” He responded on guard. What was Clare up to? Concern for her was written all over his face. “Don’t worry.” Jonathan replied. “When she gets her brain in gear, she’ll probably realise its dead and call me from the office.” He hung up without bothering to thank Jimmy for his time.

Clare knew from the scowl she could see across Jonathan’s face that he was mad as hell. Perhaps it would have been smarter to have called him like usual. It had been Lauren’s idea that she should not and that he should stew for a while. Easily she slid the car into gear and began to pull away from the kerb. Jonathan looked out of the window and saw the blue Audi move away, for a moment he thought it was Clare behind the wheel, if it had not of been for the long red hair, it could have easily been her.

He pressed the hang up button on his mobile and turned away. He would deal with her later; he had all day to come up with something that would make her pay for her insolence.