Chapter 3

LILA

I shouldn't have come here anyways. The moment I entered the Kingsley twins home that was the first thing that came to mind. It was enormous—like something from a motion picture. The music's bass throbbed like a second heartbeat as bodies were crammed wall to wall. Sweat, cheap, beer and perfume filled the air.

The thought came to my mind again that I should have stayed back home.

But this was The Kingsley's twins party. They were popularly known as the Kingmakers', a name I heard got stuck and almost every kid at school wants to be associated with them.

Who cares?

I was here to also pay Caleb in his own coin. He should just wait and see.

Red and dangerous, I pulled at the hem of my dress and smudged the lip gloss on my lips again. Two months ago, it was the kind I wouldn't have dared to wear. But that girl was no longer here—the quiet optimistic one who had complete faith in Caleb— she was long gone.

As soon as a senior football player called her name and winked at her, Leah was carried away into the crowd.

In an instant, I found myself all alone and I was kind of nervous but all of that disappeared as I saw him.

Caleb. My boyfriend. Okay, my ex. With a drink in his hand and Madison's hand on his arm and smiling at him, he stood close to the rear door laughing at something that only they could understand. As if they had done it a hundred times, he cocked his head toward her and planted a small kiss on her lips.

My breath was suddenly taken away by the sight.

I instantly went cold.

It was the same dare he had told me and now he was kissing her.

Guess the dare was for the rest of the year.

I should have listened weeks ago.

A girl I didn't know texted me a blurry picture of Caleb and Madison kissing the night before I transferred. I went right up to him and he told me.

" She kissed me. It was a foolish truth or dare. I swear I immediately pushed her away."

I had foolishly trusted him. And now I was here seeing him lean into her as if she were his weight.

I hadn't even caught his attention yet. Perhaps he had but he didn't give a damn about me anymore.

I had a burning in my throat. My fingers clenched into fists at my sides. Before the tears could control me, I turned around and headed upstairs without knowing where I was going.

The door next to me opened.

Wrong floor . I immediately turned and there was Ryder, holding a drink grinning and leaning against the doorway of a poorly lit bedroom.

His forearms were barely covered in tattoos and his black t-shirt hung across his chest. His gaze moved slowly over me as if he were reading me page by page.

"Are you okay?" He asked in a more serious tone.

I shook my head slowly.

"Not at all."

He took a step back.

"Come in."

I should have hesitated normally. I should have fled in a different direction.

But I needed something to burn away all that pain right then with Madison and Caleb downstairs cuddling up to each other as if I didn't exist. So I entered.

The scent of cedarwood and cologne filled the room evoking danger and warmth. There was a desk with a dimly lit lamp, a bed that was a little disorganized and Ryder watching me as if he already knew why I had come even though I didn't.

" You look like you want to scream and kill someone." He said and closed the door after us.

"I saw him." I muttered and began to pace. "With her."

Ryder just sipped from his glass. "He said it was a dare but they are still together."

Ryder's expression grew serious. "He told you lies. Boys will always be boys." He gave a small laugh.

I combed my hair with my fingers, ignoring his last sentence.

"I feel so—stupid. God!"

He moved slowly across the room, approaching me with the intentness of a wolf.

"You're not stupid. You simply aren't good enough for him."

I laughed bitterly. "And what made you believe that?"

"Because I would never allow you to stand in a room feeling this way if you were mine." he said in a rough voice.

The air between us splintered. Anger rising like a tide, my heart thumping as I looked up at him.

" I want to forget him." I said in a whisper.

Ryder didn't say anything else. He finished the drink in his glass and placed it gently on a table.

He simply moved forward grazing my jaw with his fingers as I raised my head to look into his eyes. And without warning, his mouth slammed into mine. It was not a gentle one. It wasn't sweet. It was rough, raw and real—everything I needed.He kissed me like he wanted to erase every memory Caleb had left on my skin.

Like he was mad at me for the pain I carried. And I gave him a kiss in return as if I wanted to burn him. He grabbed me by the waist and drew me in.

I gasped as his hot desperate mouth moved down my neck as my back struck the wall. He ground his hips into mine, bunching the fabric of my dress with his fingers and I arched with a gasping groan.

His lips touched the shell of my ear as he whispered .

"Tell me to stop."

"Don't." I murmured.

Without much effort, he lifted me, carried me to the bed and laid me down as if I were something precious. Then he was on top of me the next minute, kissing, touching and groaning until neither of us had any softness left.

I didn't stop him . I didn't cry. I held onto him. He made every part of my body hurt. My gown landed on the ground and his shirt came next.

Heat rose between us like a wildfire, like he was learning a language that only I could understand, his hands explored me. I became absorbed in the rage, the pain and the letting go in him. I shuddered but not out of fear as I laid under him as he fought for control. Fear wasn't the issue here. It was the forgetting part, forgetting about Caleb, forgetting all that had caused me to reach that heartbreaking moment.

Ryder's mouth moved to my neck and as his teeth lightly scraped against my delicate skin, sparks flew through me. My hands found his back and chest and I clung to him as if he were my lifeline. And then my own heartbeat thundered as the room whirled with heat. It seemed like the night outside was forever gone. His mouth was softer when it touched mine again. A little different.

Then as if he were trying to calm me down and slow down our interactions. But slowing down was not what I wanted. I wanted to experience it. I wanted to totally lose myself, to be banged really hard that I would totally forget the reason why I came to Blackridge.

My breath caught in my throat as I shivered as his fingers slid under my bra strap. As his lips moved down and touched the gentle curve of my breast and my heart raced.

"Ryder," I inhaled, the sound foreign to my own ears.

There was a hint of surrender, a desire for something more, something painless. Something hungry, something dangerous flickered in his eyes as he paused his lips hovering close to my skin.

"No regrets?" He asked his voice full of an emotion I couldn't identify

Slowly feeling the weight of it all I shook my head. "No regrets."

It sounded like reality. However I wasn't sure of what I was even saying.

I was clueless about what I was doing. I was unsure whether it was the best decision. But at that moment I only knew that I wanted him. The crushing weight of betrayal was the last emotion I wanted to experience. His mouth came hard on my nipples and he sucked feverishly.

"Ryder." I moaned as he thrusted inside of me. I shut my eyes as the sound of our entangled breaths and the taste of desire filled the slow never-ending

night. I should have told him that he was my first, that I wanted to give my virginity to Caleb on his birthday.

But who cares?