Chapter 5

It had been about six months since we had left the mansion and I had stopped taking my birth control in fear of what would happen if I didn't. Lance still pulled out to try and keep the pregnancy risk lower than it would have been if he came inside me, but it still worried me that the king would somehow find out and come for us. Other than the pregnancy thing that hung over us, our lives went pretty much back to normal.

"Bye babe.", I said before kissing Lance.

"If you need me you will have to call Kendall because I will be in a meeting from eight to noon today.", he said.

" I'll be ok.",I reassured him. He kissed me one more time before leaving.

" I'll see you when I get home."He left me alone to do what I do.

I did my usual load of laundry and put dishes in the dishwasher and everything was practically done. I had done everything I needed to do yesterday so I looked around for things I might have missed and there was nothing. I had been feeling a bit weird the last few days and I couldn't think of what it could be. I shrugged it off and went into the kitchen to make some breakfast so I could sit down and watch a movie while I ate. I cracked the eggs in the pan and cut up onions and peppers in them and threw in some cheese and began to scramble them together. I put a piece of toast in the toaster and just as my eggs finished it popped up and I buttered it and stuck it on my plate. I poured myself some milk and took my food in the living room so I could watch my movie.

I took a couple of bites of my egg and thought they tasted off. I went and looked at the packaging and they were still good so I thought maybe I added too much butter or something to the pan when I made them. I sat back down and tried another bite and no, these were bad as my stomach lurched as I tried not to throw up on the carpet. I ran to the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet before I was puking everywhere. I grabbed a washcloth from the tub that I had used the night before and wiped my mouth. I then stood up and went to trash my eggs. I grabbed all of the cleaning supplies I would need and headed back to the bathroom. I cleaned the toilet first and worked my way down to the floor and cleaned up some of the splatters off of the side of the tub. I can't believe I threw up like that I thought to myself. I put up all of my supplies and grabbed a bottle of water and a comfy blanket and laid down to restart the movie. I must have fallen asleep because Lance was home and I could smell something cooking.

" Hey you're up. Are you ok?", he asked as he came and sat down beside me.

I explained what happened to me earlier that day and he gave me a concerned look. "I'm ok now. Nothing to be worried about. We should probably pitch those eggs though.", I said.

"No babe, I don't think it was the eggs that made you sick."

"Well, I don't have a stomach bug so what could it have been?", I asked, wanting answers from him. He rubbed the back of his neck like he always did when he couldn't find the words to tell me something.

"Babe have you taken a pregnancy test"?

"No, why would I. I mean we've been careful and my period should be coming soon. I can't be pregnant". I said the last few words hesitantly. "No freaking way can I be", I said frantically freaking out.

"Babe", he said taking my hand, "there is no reason to panic, we haven't even had you take a test yet."

I was up grabbing my purse and out the door. As Lance drove us to the nearest Walgreens I couldn't stop shaking my leg. I was seriously nervous. He put his hand on my leg to help calm me, but to be honest nothing was going to keep me calm until I saw the negative results on the test. He pulled into the first parking spot he found and I locked the doors.

"No I can't do this right now", I cried.

"Melody it will be ok", he said, " I can go in and get it".

I nodded, tears still streaming down my cheeks. I felt nauseous from just the thought of being pregnant. I'm not ready to be a mother. My own mother died when I was eighteen and I wouldn't have her for advice. Lance's mother died a year after we met and it would have been nice to have her here. I loved that woman as much as my own mother, but she hid so much from Lance. I assume she only kept it from him to protect him, but seeing our current situation that didn't work out in our favor. The car door opened and I jumped a little and it brought me out of my thoughts.

"I didn't know which one you would want so I bought one of each", he said, giving me a bag full of tests.

I took them, " thank you".

"Any time love".

I decided to pee in a cup so that I could have enough urine for all the tests and just dip them. Lance was sitting on the edge of the tub and he helped me dip them all and we waited for three minutes. The pink lines  began showing up one after the other along with the plus signs and the ones that said yes and pregnant. I felt like a failure to myself and my child because I knew that I wasn’t ready for this. I became a mother because of what life threw at me and I'm not ready to give up my life. I will love my child with everything I've got, but I don't know if I can be a good mother.

Lance stood up and pulled me to him, " I know that look Melody and I know you are worried, but you should just take this slow and breath. We have nine months before this baby gets here and plenty of time to prepare. You will be a great mother no matter how scared you are. We will get through this". I loved this man. He knows exactly what to do in any given situation and how to make me feel better.

"I love you Lance", I said looking up at him.

I didn’t know how I was going to do this or even survive it mentally, but what I did know was Lance was my rock and he would be there to help every step of the way. He wasn’t the type to leave me alone to figure out motherhood by myself. He’d be up during the night, he’d help me with diapers, baths, and bedtime routines then go to work the next day. He would make sure that my emotional state would be completely replenished every day. We would be there for each other. Most of all I knew he’d be the dad he wished he had. He would never miss anything in this child’s life and that was more than I could ever ask for.