Chapter 43

Jaxson

I never had many friends growing up. I was the Alpha’s son, the one fated to be the king of the royal pack one day, and it’s hard to imagine anyone wanting to be that guy’s friend. I was always seen as stern, as solid, but truthfully, I’ve never felt more broken.

Part of me wishes I made more friends growing up. Everyone thinks my mate is deceased and now, she very well could be dead; she rejected me outright. I’ve never known ache like this. Not having her just through the link alone makes my body sore. I want her to hear me, to feel my warmth, and I want her to feel safe.

Now we may never have any of that.

“Son,” my father calls in the doorway.

I haven’t left her room in what feels like ages. I need her scent back into my life so I sleep here, but in turn I slowly cover the aura of her scent, and it frightens me to think it will be gone soon.

“Come on, Jaxson, you have to lead the recruits for the parade,” he says, stern as ever.

“No,” I reply simply, laid back in her bed, holding Snowflake who has grown from the tiny kitten she once was. Aurora loved this little creature. I know Snowflake misses her too, so I hold her in solidarity, picturing the three of us back in bed together for good.

“You cannot dwell, son,” he exhales. “You have responsibilities.”

I had responsibilities to protect and love Aurora, I think to myself. I failed.

“I don’t want to participate,” I whisper. I know he can hear me clearly. “I want to stay here and think of my mate.”

“She is gone, Jaxson,” he says, truer than he could realize. “You need to be strong for the pack.”

“Fuck the pack,” I blurt.

My father hesitates and I can hear his rapid pulse from here. His intruding steps barge into the room, crossing the place so quickly that I think he may have shifted to get here sooner but when he stand beside the bed with wild, furious eyes, I know it’s a better fight in this form, than the other.

“How dare you?” he spits as he talks, his tone too accusatory for my liking. “You think you can drop out of your duties to this pack because your mate has died?! I have known lose, son, and I stood back up and held it together for the pack. It’s time you do the same!”

After the sleepless nights in Aurora’s bed, I still replay the sight of my mate wounded by Xander, by James, and hearing the words spoken about her behind her back. If he thinks he will get away playing the hero of this scenario, I’ll be the villain and prove him wrong.

I stand abruptly. Snowflake scurrying off elsewhere. My father is in my face now, fuming, and there’s something so satisfying about seeing him so upset by me. He always has to be the mighty king Alpha, the glorious leader of the strongest pack that has ever existed. I miss my father, not this pathetic excuse for a ruler.

“You cannot speak to me about lose,” I growl. I keep standing directly in his face, letting him feel my breath as I exude fury. “You lost my mother, the woman who loved everyone equally, and now you think that gives you some kind of pass for the things you have created that have torn this kingdom, and this pack, apart?”

His old brow furrows, his eyes shading gray; eventually pitch black. “I have kept us strong, son.”

“You have kept us superior to every other fucking wolf out there, father!” I bark, unsure how to wrangle in my volume but also uncaring over the noise I make. “You gave this pack the ability to beat and rape young commoners, father! You have made us murderous, hostile beasts and forgotten that my mother, your fated mate, once spoke of them as our counterparts, to be protected!”

“We do protect them!” he bites.

I stifle a laugh; I’m unsuccessful. “You cannot sit here and tell me you don’t hear the screams as your warriors have their way with those servants, father, and you’ve seen the scars they bare. You can’t tell me the king Alpha is blind, deaf and ignorant!”

He’s not handling my words, or my tone, very well. His hands have curled into tight fists and his eyes bare deep into my own. Any resemblance of my father is absent, replaced only by the sight of a lunatic king, too damn confident for his own good. He sneers a look of disgust at me, at the challenge of a son I have become, but given his track record, I’d say I’m the better out of two choices.

“You knew it was going on too,” he growls, speaking now under his hefty, hot breath. “You cannot pinpoint blame on me, son.”

“I may have had my misconceptions of their status, but I never once laid an unwilling hand on any of them!” He’s not happy with me now. I couldn’t give a damn. “I’ve never beat a servant, father, or held them down and abused their bodies like you allow your warriors to do every day! James had attacked my mate, pulled out his member and dared to violate her! I tell the warriors to kill him and to banish anyone with the same mindset and you try to stop me!”

He hesitates, his eyes glassy.

“You are no Alpha, to me,” I grate. “For a king to deny the safety of his son’s mate, over the sexual desires of his vicious warriors, is the pure definition of an unworthy Alpha.”

I see the emotions travel across his face in a frenzy of anger and resentment, to guilt and sorrow. He doesn’t like my antics, but I know damn well he has heard me. He has understood why I cannot leave this room, why I can’t release my mate, knowing all of this was the doing of his poor rule over this pack.

“I have never claimed to be perfect, Jaxson—”

“But you can’t claim to protect them, father. You can’t tell me that they are safe, knowing what has happened to my mate,” I breathe, feeling like she really has died. “Her pain is no different than the others here, but you still have a shot to make it right for them,” I say, fucking begging. “Make it right like you should have done for Aurora.”

I choke on her name and feel hot, traitorous tears brush down my cheeks. I hold my breath, but her scent still wafts through the air, invading my nostrils and giving me the impression of her presence in the room. I want to plead for her to take back this rejection.

I don’t know how long I can fight it.

My father jolts forward, so abrupt it makes me curl a fist, just in case. Instead, he pulls for my embrace, grabbing me into his arms and holding me as I instinctively hold him back. I try to make sense of this situation but as it stands, it may be the first time in decades since my father has given me a hug.

It makes me worried, but I allow it. It’s better than us tearing out each other’s throats.

“I’m sorry about your mate,” he says, muddled through his grief.

I inhale, letting her scent distract my pain. “I’m sorry for yours, too.”

He pulls away, looking away as if to hide the sheen of a tear I spot promptly before he wipes it away. “I will cancel the parade,” he says, sure of his tone. “We have a lot of work to do here, Jaxson. I hope you’ll help me make things right.”

For once I am surprised, but the issue still stands; wherever Aurora is right now, she isn’t safe.