Chapter 3 THREE

EVA’S POV

“I’m serious, Lily, I can’t keep doing this.”

I paced the length of my room, my phone pressed tightly against my ear as I spoke, my voice low but laced with frustration. I’d barely gotten any sleep the entire night after Josh drove me home. 

The majority of the ride was awkward and the moment he pulled over in front of our porch, I sprinted across it and ran inside the house, shutting the door to my room immediately I got in.

I didn’t leave the room the entire night, allowing the consequences of my actions fully dawn upon me. 

“I have to get over him,” I said to Lily for the dozenth time that morning. I had no one else I could talk to about my pathetic little crush on Josh but his little sister who was also my best friend. “Honestly, Lily.”

She didn’t even hesitate. “You say that every time.”

“This time is different,” I insisted quickly, dragging a hand through my hair. “Last night just—God, it made everything worse.”

A soft hum came from the other end of the call. “Worse how?”

I let out a sharp breath, turning toward my window before pacing back again. Lily knew about me and Daniel but for some reason, never took whatever was going on between us serious. She could probably see through him but didn’t tell me since she clearly also wanted me to get over her brother regardless of what means it’d take. “Long story cut short, he found about me and Daniel, got mad and threatened to tell my brother. And the only condition he agreed on keeping silent was if I agreed not to date anyone.”

Silence followed for a while and for a second, I wasn’t sure what it meant. Lily and her brother were on decent terms but she had never subscribed to some of his reasonings on things.

“Lily?”

Before I could finish, she cut me off. “He what?”

“You heard me,” I muttered. “No dating. Not unless he’s there. Like some kind of bodyguard I didn’t ask for.”

She let out a short laugh. “That sounds exactly like my brother.”

“That’s not funny.”

“It kind of is.”

I groaned, dropping onto the edge of my bed. “I’m serious. He literally blackmailed me with my own brother. I had no choice.”

“Mm-hmm,” she said, clearly unconvinced. “And you totally didn’t agree because you secretly liked the idea of him being involved in your love life.”

“I did not—” I cut myself off, then exhaled. “Okay, maybe a tiny part of me didn’t hate it. But that’s not the point!”

“Then what is the point?”

“The point is,” I said, pushing myself back up to my feet, “I need to stop liking him. Completely. Cold turkey. No more feelings, no more staring at him like an idiot, no more—no more this.”

“And how exactly are you planning to do that?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted, starting toward my door. “But I have to try. Because this—whatever this is—it’s exhausting, Lily.”

I stepped out into the hallway, still talking.

“I’ve liked him for years. Do you understand how insane that is? You know how insane that is.Years. Almost longer than we’ve been best friends. And for what? So he can stand there and call me his little sister like it’s nothing?” My chest tightened as I spoke, but I didn’t stop. “Do you know how that feels?”

Lily didn’t interrupt me this time so I kept on going.

“And I know it’s crazy, I know my brother would kill me if he ever finds out and I know, yes, I’d never get a chance to be with him but I can’t help it.”

“I notice everything about him,” I said, my voice softer now but no less intense. “The way he gets all quiet when he’s angry. The way he clenches his jaw like he did last night. The way he—” 

I let out a shaky laugh. “The way he still ruffles my hair like I’m twelve and somehow it still gets to me every single time.”

I started down the stairs.

“And it’s pathetic, because no matter what I do, I can’t stop. I tried dating Daniel, and look how that turned out. I wasn’t even thinking about him half the time because I was too busy thinking about him.”

“That’s… actually really bad,” Lily murmured. “Josh— No, this is terrible.”

“I know,” I said quickly. “I know it is. Which is why I need to get over him. I have to. I can’t keep on liking him. I’ve done that for too many years now. So I should get over him. Because he’s never going to see me the way I see him. He’s never going to look at me and think—”

I turned into the dining area and before I could finish my words, stopped so abruptly my breath caught in my throat.

The phone almost slipped out of my hands and God, I wished I was dreaming. Or at least, hallucinating.

But heck, neither was true.

Josh was actually standing there.

Right there.

Leaning against the counter like he’d been there for a while, a glass in his hand, his eyes already locked on me.

My heart dropped. Everything Lily had just heard, Josh had heard it too.

Crap.

“Are you still there?”

My lips parted but I couldn’t even whisper a response to Lily. All i could see and think about was Josh standing just a few meters away from me, brows raised as he stared at me.

“Good morning, Eva.”

I immediately cursed under my breath. I couldn’t even move yet here he was, carefully dropping the glass in his hand on the counter, his eyes still on me. He didn’t look away as he folded his arms, an annoying familiar smirk making its way to his face.

I wanted to scream. But instead, slowly, I pulled the phone away from my ear, my grip tightening around it. 

“I’ll call you back,” I whispered to Lily, not even waiting for her response before ending the call.

My gaze snapped back to him. His arms were still folded and his smirk had now settled on his face. He was in the same jeans from the previous night but now had a sleeveless shirt on, showing off those arms that took me several months to get immune to.

“How long have you been standing there?” I asked, my voice barely steady. I wanted to ask what he was even doing at our place but knowing it wouldn’t change anything, I swallowed it. “How long have you been listening to me?”

His expression didn’t change. He only loosened his arms, shoved them into his pockets and shrugged.

“I don’t know, long enough? Long enough to hear everything.”

The words hit instantly, knocking the air out of my lungs. Everything. He heard everything.

My stomach twisted violently as heat rushed to my face. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Not a single word.

There was nothing to say. Because how do you explain ten years of feelings in a moment like this?How do you take it back?

Josh pushed himself off the counter slowly, his fingers skillfully shifting the glass further away. I watched his muscles flex as he took a single step forward, followed by several others, his eyes refusing to leave mine the entire time.

Every step he took made something in me falter. I had a thousand thoughts but none made it out. What exactly did he hear? What exactly did he manage to figure out? What exactly was he doing by walking closer towards me? And why was I unable to turn around and leave?

He didn’t stop walking until the distance between us felt too small.Too real. He finally paused his steps and looked at me, my cheeks immediately heating up in response.

I didn’t last a second before sending my gaze to the floor. He didn’t waste a second either, immediately moving his finger to send it to my chin, forcing me to return my gaze to him.

“Eva—”

“God, good morning!”

The new voice familiar cut straight through the tension out of nowhere. I immediately flinched, taking a step backwards so quickly Josh’s hands fell to his side in a flash.

“Good morning?” My brother repeated as he got no response, walking into the dining room. He had a towel round his neck, his brows pulling together as she glanced at both of us.

“Why do you both look so weird?”

I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t even look at him.

And before either Josh or me could speak up again, my brother’s voice broke the silence again.

“And what the hell did I just hear you saying over the phone?”