Chapter 9 Alexander's pov

I hated that I had agreed to this. That I was even dressed up for this was annoying the hell out of me. I'm about to walk into a restaurant to meet some woman I have no interest in at all, just because my dearest father thought me marrying a woman would “fix” me and send the gay in me packing.

Tonight is going to be another terrible and uncomfortable one , just like the ones before this.The worst part in all this was, Ethan wasn’t here. Which is also because of me.

I had refused him when he reminded me earlier that it was his job to protect me at all time blah blah blah. So I told him this was “a private family arrangement” and not his concern. Truth was, I couldn’t stomach the idea of him standing in the corner, watching me sit across some strange girl, when all I thought about was him.

Even with my point which might not be true but reasonable , he still insisted on coming so I told him I'll just go with Aiden Instead. And I did.

“Sure you don’t want me to sit at the next table and keep an eye out?” Aiden had asked for the 100th time before I got out.

“No, I'm fine.” I’d said, my voice sounding harsher than I intend to . " Just wait in the car. I won’t be long.”

He gave me a look, like he knew I was lying. But he didn’t argue. That’s one thing I liked about him, he understood when to push and when to let me be on my own.

Walking into the restaurant, my jaw was already tight. There is nothing interesting or pleasing about how this night is going to go. That I know.

The hostess led me to a table near the window. Sitting there was my “date.”

Her name was Lydia. I knew that much from the file my father’s secretary had sent to me. According to the file , she is the Daughter of some business partner of his, whose name I do not give a flipping fuck about. Wearing a red dress that hugged her in all the right places. She was beautiful, in a textbook kind of way.

She stood as I approached, smiling brightly. “Alexander blackwood” she said, extending her hand. “It’s an honor.”

I took it,"lydia" I kissed it lightly and forced a smile after. “The honor’s mine.”

We sat as the menus were placed in front of us.

The conversation started easily enough. She asked about my Recent travels, my father must have told her about them , including my recent trip to Tokyo. I told her about the meetings, excluding the Ethan part of it. She laughed at the right moments, complimented the way I spoke Japanese “so well for someone who didn’t grow up there.” She was perfect on paper. It was as if everything she said was scripted, and I won't be surprise if it all is.

But the entire time, my mind wasn’t here.

Every time she leaned forward, to show some part of her body off, I felt disgusted. And my brain picked Ethan to be the perfect distraction.

Every time she laughed, all I could hear was Ethan’s annoyed growl whenever teased him...

Why the hell am I even here?

“Do you come here often?” Lydia asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I blinked, then smirked automatically. “I try not to repeat myself too much.”

She laughed, leaning closer, her perfume clouding the air. Sweet and suffocating and no where near the clean scent of soap that clung to Ethan after a shower. It wasn’t the smell that had me losing control .

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, suddenly restless.

She kept talking non stop, something about her family’s summer home in the Hamptons,but I couldn’t focus. My gaze kept shifting to the window, the city lights outside, wondering what Ethan was doing right now. Probably pacing around in his apartment, and frowning in disagreement about me being here.

The thought sent a jolt through me. The idea of him caring, even silently, made my chest ache with joy.

Halfway through the meal, I realized I’d barely touched my food. My fork pushed pasta around while Lydia kept chatting. She was good at this,carrying the conversation, smiling like she believed she’d already won or something.

I felt a pang of guilt. She didn’t deserve my indifference. But she also didn’t deserve the lie my father was trying to make of me.

I excused myself twice, once to “take a call” and once to splash cold water on my face in the restroom. Staring into the mirror, I barely recognized myself.

A beautiful lady is sitting right out that door waiting for me, and all I could think about was one man.

By the time the dinner wrapped up, Lydia was clearly satisfied. She leaned in, brushing her hand over mine as she said, “I’d love to do this again.”

I smiled, but it didn’t reach my eyes. “We’ll see about that.”

She didn’t catch the flatness in my tone. Or maybe she did, and chose to ignore it. Either way, the night ended with me walking her to her driver’s car, shaking hands like we’d just finished a business deal.

When I slid into the back of the car, Aiden was waiting, eyes flicking to me. “Well?”

I let out a humorless laugh. “If I hear the word Hamptons one more time, I’ll jump off a bridge.”

Aiden smirked, starting the engine. “Didn’t go well then?”

“It went exactly how my father wanted. Which means it was a disaster.”

I'm glad he didn't try to carry on with the conversation. The drive back was quiet, my head pressed against the glass, the city lights blurring past as I thought about Ethan. did he bewitch me or something.

When we pulled up at my building, Aiden parked and turned to me. “You going to be okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Alex…” His voice carried that warning note.

“I said I’m fine.”

He sighed, but nodded. “Alright. At least let me walk you in.”

He did, staying with me until I was in the elevator. “Get some sleep,” he said before the doors closed.

“Sure.”

The elevator hummed as it climbed, the wine I’d downed at dinner buzzing through my veins. I wasn’t drunk, just a bit tipsy . My mind was fogged, heavy with thoughts of Ethan, with anger at my father, with the weight of wanting things I couldn’t have.

When the doors slid open, I stepped out automatically, my feet carrying me down the hall. I didn’t even noticed I opened the wrong door until I was fully inside.

The lights were out except for a soft glow spilling from the lamp near the couch. And there he was, seated like the temptation he is.

He looked up from where he’d been sitting on the edge of the couch, phone in hand. The second he saw me, he froze. “Alex?”

I blinked, then leaned against the doorframe, smirking lazily. “Hey, soldier.”

His brows knit. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk,” I said, pushing the door closed behind me. “Just… tired.”

He stood, crossing his arms. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Where else would I be?” I asked, stepping closer. “My place is right next to yours. Easy mistake.” I answered. " And why was your door unlocked?"

“You should leave,” he said firmly. “Now.”

But I didn’t. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. My legs won't let me.

Instead, I took another step, closing the space between us until I could feel the heat of his body. I tilted my head, studying him like I had a thousand times in my mind. “I went on that date, you know. Did what Daddy wanted.”

His jaw tightened. “And?”

“And the whole time…” I leaned in, my voice dropping to a whisper. “The whole damn time, all I could think about was you.”

He stiffened, eyes going dark. “Alex...”

I didn’t let him finish.

My hand slid to the back of his neck, and pulled him up to me for a nerve wrecking kiss.

It wasn’t like the previous times, it felt different. And I wasn't going to rush this .

For a second, he froze. His hands hovered, as if fighting the urge to push me away or pull me closer. Then he shoved at my chest, weakly, like he didn’t mean it.

“Stop it.” he breathed, his voice strained.

But I didn’t stop. I pressed harder, my mouth moving against his, tasting the fire I’d been craving since the moment I met him.

“Alex…” he warned, but the sound cracked halfway, betraying him.

I pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. “Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me you don’t think about me the way I do about you. And I’ll leave.”

He didn’t answer.

That was all I needed.

My lips crashed back onto his, and this time, his control snapped. His hands grabbed my shirt, pulling me against him with a force that stole my breath.

Heat exploded between us, raw and reckless. His mouth devoured mine, his teeth grazing my bottom lip, his growl vibrating against my chest.

I groaned into him, my fingers digging into his hair. Excitement coursed through my body.

This , this was what I wanted.

And when his hands slid down to my waist, gripping tight, I knew there was no going back.