Chapter 108 CHAPTER 108:WHAT I FEAR NOW
~ Calvin ~
There are fears I don’t give language to.
Not because I don’t feel them but because once something is named, it becomes real in a way I can’t control. And I have built most of my life around control. Around being steady. Around being the one who holds when everything else breaks.
A...
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Chapters
1. Chapter 1 FAILED MARRIAGE ARRANGEMENT
2. Chapter 2 THE RING
3. Chapter 3 MOVING IN
4. Chapter 4 CONNER’S POV
5. Chapter 5 A DANGER UNTOLD
6. Chapter 6 SOPHIE’S POV
7. Chapter 7 JEALOUSY
8. Chapter 8 SOPHIE’S POV
9. Chapter 9 CONNER’S POV
10. Chapter 10 BOUND TO A MAN I DESPISE
11. Chapter 11 TESTING MY LIMITS
12. Chapter 12 BIGGEST MISTAKE
13. Chapter 13 CONNER’S COLD SMILE
14. Chapter 14 MY WEDDING
15. Chapter 15 SUCH A DOUCHEBAG
16. Chapter 16 MY WORST NIGHTMARE
17. Chapter 17 DANGEROUS DISTRACTION
18. Chapter 18 TRAPPED IN HIS SHADOW
19. Chapter 19 THE DEVIL I CALLED FATHER
20. Chapter 20 DANGER IN HIS TOUCH
21. Chapter 21 FEELING SAFE WITH HIM
22. Chapter 22 BETWEEN BLUSHES AND FURY
23. Chapter 23 LA MIA BELLE PRINCISPESSA
24. Chapter 24 A BREATHE BETWEEN US
25. Chapter 25 HEARTS IN THE SKY
26. Chapter 26 BETWEEN MY FATHER AND MY LOVER
27. Chapter 27 A TASTE OF SOMETHING REAL
28. Chapter 28 ALL MINE
29. Chapter 29 THE NIGHT WE FELL
30. Chapter 30 HIS PRINCESS IN TROUBLE
31. Chapter 31 BENEATH HIS CONTROL
32. Chapter 32 THE MOMENT EVERYTHING BROKE
33. Chapter 33 INTERRUPTED DESIRES
34. Chapter 34 THE DOOR THAT LOCKED US IN
35. Chapter 35 A HAPPY ENDING
36. Chapter 36 RUNNING
37. Chapter 37 I I LIKE TO THINK THAT I AM STRONG
38. Chapter 38 BROKEN AND BOUND
39. Chapter 39 Untitled Chapter LEAVING RIVERFORD
40. Chapter 40 STARTING MY JOB
41. Chapter 41 TOO BRUISED TO BELONG
42. Chapter 42 THE DEVIL UPSTAIRS
43. Chapter 43 NOT AGAIN
44. Chapter 44 BLOOD AND WINE
45. Chapter 45 BETWEEN BROTHERS
46. Chapter 46 CALVIN’S RANGE, TRAUMA AND OBSESSION
47. Chapter 47 THE DEVIL IN DETENTION
48. Chapter 48 HE KNEW
49. Chapter 49 A HUG, A THREAT, A HEARTBREAK
50. Chapter 50 THE PARTNER I NEVER WANTED
51. Chapter 51 THE PRICE OF SURVIVAL
52. Chapter 52 NO ONE HEARD ME SCREAM
53. Chapter 53 A HEART NO ONE PROTECTS
54. Chapter 54 WHERE I DON’T BELONG OR MAYBE I DO
55. Chapter 55 BANDAGED HANDS AND COLD EYES
56. Chapter 56 A FALL INTO HIM
57. Chapter 57 A HEART BEAT AWAY
58. Chapter 58 WAYNE’S POV
59. Chapter 59 HIS EYES, HIS TEXT, HIS TIMING
60. Chapter 60 PULLED IN TWO DIRECTIONS
61. Chapter 61 DRENCHED IN BLOOD, DRAWN TO HER
62. Chapter 62 WHEN OUR LIPS MET
63. Chapter 63 I THOUGHT I HAD SOMEONE
64. Chapter 64 WHEN SADNESS SLEPT BESIDE ME
65. Chapter 65 MARKED
66. Chapter 66 FIGHT OR DIE
67. Chapter 67 WHEN THE WALLS FELL
68. Chapter 68 THE BIRTHDAY PT 1
69. Chapter 69 THE BIRTHDAY PT2
70. Chapter 70 THE NIGHT I BURNED FOR CALVIN
71. Chapter 71 THE MOMENT I LET HER IN
72. Chapter 72 HIS CHOICE,NOT MINE
73. Chapter 73 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
74. Chapter 74 MESSY EMOTIONS
75. Chapter 75 WHAT HE MAKES ME FEEL
76. Chapter 76 PRETTY EYES,DANGEROUS LINES
77. Chapter 77 BETWEEN THEM
78. Chapter 78 TOO CLOSE TO LEAVE
79. Chapter 79 THE SPACE BETWEEN WORDS
80. Chapter 80 THE MORNING WHEN EVERYONE NOTICED
81. Chapter 81 MESSY SITUATION
82. Chapter 82 LOSING CONTROL
83. Chapter 83 TOO CLOSE TO STOP
84. Chapter 84 MARKS WE CANNOT HIDE
85. Chapter 85 ALL I THINK ABOUT
86. Chapter 86 IN HIS ARMS, IN HIS HELL
87. Chapter 87 PROM 1
88. Chapter 88 PROM 2
89. Chapter 89 PROM 3
90. Chapter 90 CLAIMING WHAT HE DENIED
91. Chapter 91 CHAPTER 91THE ANSWER WAS HIM
92. Chapter 92 CHAPTER 92:NOT JUST DESIRE
93. Chapter 93 CHAPTER 93: THINGS SEEN THINGS IGNORED
94. Chapter 94 CHAPTER 94: PUBLIC CLAIM
95. Chapter 95 CHAPTER 95: WAVES WIND AND YOU
96. Chapter 96 CHAPTER 96:WHERE MY FOREVER BEGAN
97. Chapter 97 CHAPTER 97:A FUTURE THAT BEGINS WITH YOU
98. Chapter 98 CHAPTER 98:THE NIGHT EVERYONE KNEW
99. Chapter 99 CHAPTER 99:BEFORE THE VOWS
100. Chapter 100 CHAPTER 100:NO ARMOR JUST LOVE
101. Chapter 101 CHAPTER 101:MY WEDDING DAY
102. Chapter 102 CHAPTER 102:HONEYMOON PT 1
103. Chapter 103 CHAPTER 103:WHAT I NEVER SAY OUT LOUD
104. Chapter 104 CHAPTER 104:THE WAY I HOLD HIM
105. Chapter 105 CHAPTER 105:SMALL THINGS THAT MEANS FOREVER
106. Chapter 106 CHAPTER 106: WHAT WE LOST
107. Chapter 107 CHAPTER 107:THE FEAR OF TRYING AGAIN
108. Chapter 108 CHAPTER 108:WHAT I FEAR NOW
109. Chapter 109 CHAPTER 109: MY ILLNESS
110. Chapter 110 CHAPTER 110:THE ANGER NO ONE PREPARED FOR ME
111. Chapter 111 CHAPTER 111:MY SURGERY
112. Chapter 112 CHAPTER 112:HEALING JOURNEY
113. Chapter 113 CHAPTER 113:A DISTANCE BETWEEN US
114. Chapter 114 CHAPTER 114: THE DAY THE HOUSE WENT SILENT
115. Chapter 115 CHAPTER 115: MOVING ON FROM WHAT IS LEFT
116. Chapter 116 CHAPTER 116: A NEW LIFE
117. Chapter 117 CHAPTER 117:A FRIEND I NEEDED
118. Chapter 118 CHAPTER 118: WHAT CHANGED IN CALVIN
119. Chapter 119 CHAPTER 119: WHAT I COULDN’T SAVE AND WHAT I’LL HAVE TO SAVE
120. Chapter 120 CHAPTER 120:A NEW WAYNE
121. Chapter 121 CHAPTER 121:WAYNE’S INTERNAL STRUGGLE
122. Chapter 122 CHAPTER 122:REALIZING WHAT HE NEEDS
123. Chapter 123 CHAPTER 123:THE THINGS HE NEVER SAYS
124. Chapter 124 CHAPTER 124:CHOICES THAT FEELS TRUE AND WHOLE
125. Chapter 125 CHAPTER 125: OUR FIRST KISS
126. Chapter 126 CHAPTER 126:KNOWING HE WAS THE ONE
127. Chapter 127 CHAPTER 127: I LOVE HER
128. Chapter 128 CHAPTER 128: THE PLACE MY HEART CHOSE TO STAY
129. Chapter 129 CHAPTER 129: AN ECHOE OF REGRET
130. Chapter 130 CHAPTER 130:THE FUTURE I CHOSE WITHOUT LOOKING BACK
131. Chapter 131 CHAPTER 131:THE TRUTH I WAS PROTECTING HER FROM
132. Chapter 132 CHAPTER 132:CAN’T FIX WHAT I BROKE
133. Chapter 133 CHAPTER 133:WHAT STAYED AND WHAT LEFT
134. Chapter 134 CHAPTER 134: THE DOOR THAT CLOSED FOR GOOD
135. Chapter 135 CHAPTER 135: WHEN LETTING GO BECOMES GENTLE
136. Chapter 136 CHAPTER 136: A PROMISE WHICH MEANT FOREVER
137. Chapter 137 CHAPTER 137:WHAT WENT ON
138. Chapter 138 CHAPTER 138:KNOWING I HAVE TO LET GO
139. Chapter 139 CHAPTER 139: BEFORE THE PROMISE
140. Chapter 140 CHAPTER 140: HOW LONG I HAVE COME
141. Chapter 141 CHAPTER 141: THE WOMAN BEFORE ME
142. Chapter 142 CHAPTER 142: THE GRIEF HE CARRIED ALONE
143. Chapter 143 CHAPTER 143:WHERE THEY LAID TO REST
144. Chapter 144 CHAPTER 144:MAKING A PROMISE
145. Chapter 145 CHAPTER 145: THE LETTER BENEATH THE LILIES
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