Chapter 3

"This is for you." I slide the university envelope across the table.

He stares at it for a moment before tearing it open. I watch his face as he reads. First confusion, then surprise, then something that looks like excitement.

"I got the scholarship," he says quietly.

"Which one?"

"The academic merit one. Full tuition." He looks up at me, eyes bright. "That's forty thousand dollars, Ember."

I sink into the chair across from him. "Finn, that's amazing."

"It means I won't need any money from Cole's account. You can keep it all."

The way he says it makes my throat tight. Like he's been worried about taking money from me. Like he thinks he's a burden.

"That money is for both of us," I tell him. "Cole wanted to take care of you."

"And you."

"I can take care of myself."

It's not exactly a lie. Not yet.

Finn folds the letter carefully. "I'm thinking about business management. Maybe start my own company someday."

"Like Cole wanted to do."

"Yeah." He gets that far-away look he gets when he talks about the future. "I could build houses. Good ones. The kind that don't burn down."

We spend dinner talking about his plans. Dorm rooms and class schedules and internships. I ask questions and make suggestions and pretend I'll be around to see him graduate.

The pretending gets easier with practice.

After dinner, Finn disappears to call his friend Marcus about room assignments. I clean up the kitchen and then remember I need to take my medicine.

The bottle is hidden behind the flour canister where Finn never looks. I shake one small white pill into my palm and wash it down with water.

"Ember?"

I freeze. Finn's voice comes from the hallway.

"Yeah?" I call back, shoving the bottle back behind the flour.

"Marcus wants to know if you can drive us to look at the campus next weekend."

"Of course." I turn around just as he appears in the kitchen doorway.

His eyes scan the counter, but there's nothing suspicious to see. Just me with a glass of water and a normal expression.

"You sure you're feeling okay?" he asks. "You look a little pale."

"Just tired. It's been a long day."

He nods, but he's still studying my face. "Maybe you should see Dr. Rodriguez again. Get more blood work done."

"I'm fine, Finn. Really."

"Okay." But he doesn't look convinced. "I'm going to bed early. Got to work in the morning."

After he goes upstairs, I sit at the kitchen table with the stack of bills. Electric: $89. Water: $67. Phone: $95. Groceries and gas and all the little things that add up.

I pull out Cole's insurance money account statements and a calculator.

The scholarship helps, but Finn will still need money for books and living expenses. Maybe five thousand a year. Plus there's the house payment and all our regular bills.

I do the math three times.

If I'm careful, there's enough money to last Finn through college and a little beyond. Enough for him to get started in life.

But only if I don't spend any on expensive medical treatments.

Only if I don't try to buy myself more time.

I'm adding up numbers for the fourth time when something sharp and hot shoots through my chest. The calculator slips from my hands and clatters to the floor.

I grab the edge of the table and try to breathe. The pain spreads down my left arm and up into my jaw.

This is different from the usual aches. Bigger. Scarier.

I close my eyes and count to ten. Then twenty. The pain starts to fade, but my hands are shaking.

From upstairs, I hear Finn's alarm clock radio playing soft music. He's probably already asleep.

I pick up the calculator and put away the bills. Everything looks normal again.

But when I stand up to turn off the kitchen light, the room tilts sideways and I have to hold onto the wall until it stops spinning.

I make it to my bedroom and close the door before my legs give out completely.