Chapter 6

I stare at the bottle in Finn's hand. My heart medication. The one I thought I'd hidden so well behind the flour canister.

"Where did you find that?"

"Does it matter?" His blue eyes are cold. "What matters is why you have it."

I reach for the bottle, but he pulls it back. "Finn, please—"

"Digoxin." He reads the label slowly. "For heart rhythm abnormalities." He looks up at me. "I Googled it."

My stomach drops. Of course he did. Finn's always been too smart for his own good.

"It's not what you think."

"Really? Because according to the internet, this medication is used for serious heart conditions. Life-threatening ones." His voice gets louder. "So either you're lying to me about having anemia, or you're lying to me about something much worse."

I sink onto the couch. There's no point in pretending anymore.

"How long have you known?" I ask quietly.

"Known what? That you've been lying to me for weeks? That you can barely walk up the stairs without getting winded? That you've been taking expensive heart medication and pretending it's iron supplements?"

He starts pacing. I haven't seen him this angry since Cole died.

"Finn, sit down. Let me explain."

"Explain what? That you're dying?"

The word hangs in the air between us. I want to deny it, but I can't.

"It's not that simple."

"Isn't it?" He stops pacing and turns to face me. "You have a serious heart condition. You're taking medication that costs two hundred dollars a bottle. You're lying to everyone about it. Including me."

"I was trying to protect you."

"From what? The truth?" His voice cracks. "I'm eighteen, Ember. I'm not a kid anymore. I can handle the truth."

But can you handle losing another person you love?

I think about Cole, about how devastated Finn was after the fire. How he barely spoke for months. How he still wakes up sometimes, calling Cole's name.

"You shouldn't have to handle this," I say. "You've been through enough."

"That's not your decision to make!" He throws the pill bottle onto the coffee table. It rattles loudly. "I have a right to know what's happening to my family."

"I am not your family."

The words come out harsher than I intended. Finn flinches like I slapped him.

"What?"

I stand up, my chest already feeling tight. "I'm not your sister. I'm not your guardian. I'm just someone who happened to be sleeping with your cousin when he died."

"Don't."

"It's true. We're not related. We're not family. We're just two people who got stuck together because of tragedy."

Finn's face goes pale. "You don't mean that."

But I do mean it. Because if I can make him hate me, maybe it won't hurt so much when I'm gone.

"I was never supposed to be responsible for you. Cole was. And when he died, I should have let social services find you a real family. People who could actually take care of you."

"Stop it."

"Instead, I kept you here because I was selfish. Because I couldn't bear to lose the last piece of him."

"Ember, stop."

My chest feels like it's on fire. The familiar sharp pain shoots down my left arm.

"Maybe it's better this way. When I die, you can finally have a normal life. Go to college, meet people your own age, stop wasting time taking care of a sick girl who—"

The pain hits me like a truck. I double over, gasping.

"Ember!"

Finn's anger disappears instantly. He's beside me in seconds, his hands on my shoulders.

"What's wrong? What's happening?"

I can't speak. Can't breathe. The room spins around me.

"Okay, okay. Just breathe. Slow breaths." His voice is gentle now, scared. "Should I call 911?"

I shake my head. The attack is already starting to pass, but I feel weak and shaky.

Finn helps me to the couch. He disappears for a moment and comes back with a glass of water.

"Here. Drink this."

I take small sips. My hands are trembling.

"Better?"

I nod.

We sit in silence for a few minutes. Then Finn speaks, his voice quiet.

"How long do you have?"

I close my eyes. "I don't know. Maybe weeks. Maybe months."

"What did the doctor say exactly?"

"That my heart could stop anytime. The medication helps, but it's not a cure."

Finn doesn't say anything for a long time. When I look at him, there are tears in his eyes.

"I should have known," he whispers. "All those times you've been tired, the way you've been acting... I should have figured it out."

"I didn't want you to know."

"Why?"

"Because you have your whole life ahead of you. College, career, maybe a family someday. You don't need to spend your last year of high school watching me die."

Finn turns to face me. "You really think I care about any of that more than I care about you?"

Before I can answer, he continues.

"I love you."