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Ninja Like Skills and Cat Like Reflexes

I sniffled and wiped my tears as I packed my stuff. I couldn’t believe today was the day. My heart jumped in happiness and I cried not being able to control all the feelings and jumped on my bed in my unicorn pajamas.

After 4 long and torturous years, I finally complete college. I will never forget the late-night assignments that spent cursing the teachers more than actually doing them, as I cheated off math tests, and painfully completed my exams. I will also never forget all those crazy experiments in the chemistry lab and- OH MY GOD the creative pranks that I have done on all my teachers and mates nearly dying in the process, I wiped a fake tear, goooosh was I going to miss all this!

And let’s not forget, the crrrraaaazzzy hangovers and promises to not touch alcohol ever and breaking the promise just 12 hours later. I chuckled to myself because bitch I was a party animal. I was hangover even now but my happiness was much bigger.

As I packed all my stuff I came across a photo- aww I was so going to miss my girls and all those ‘shops till we drop’, the sleepovers and parties. It was a pity they were moving across to a whole different part of the world.

I shook my butt and sway my hips and moved around my arms as I vibe to ‘On the Floor’ by Jlo.

This is my jam and my day. I threw away all my books and assignments, those things can go in hell, and happily packed all my remaining clothes. Today was also the day I was moving. Yay!

Fuck, I am so excited, I was renting a penthouse, and fortunately, I wasn’t going to be alone meaning I’d have a roommate but I was more than glad, I hate being alone and I get bored pretty easily.

Jumping on my bag to close it. Ok, so where is my phone now? And- owwwww holy fuck I stubbed my toe in the wall. Ouch. Frowning in pain, I caressed my beautiful toe cursing the wall.

My wish was to move in with my parents but I wasn’t dumb enough to move in with the two people who don’t give a flying fuck about me. Huh. They are unworthy of my awesomeness. I wish I could have a boyfriend but trust me no matter how hard I try, I just couldn’t get one. Not that I didn’t have boys that were interested in me, like have you seen your girl? She is fucking hot, but the problem was me. I just couldn’t settle down and whenever I would come close to a boy or even go on a date with them, the feeling of cheating on someone- I know I sound absurd but this is just how it is. My heart would constrict and the feeling of discomfort and guilt would always stop me from having a boyfriend. But it's ok, I'm pretty fine with myself too, it just wouldn't hurt to have someone to share my crazy desires with once in a while.

Anyways, I picked up my luggage, and looked at my dorm room for the last time, I wiped a tear cuz I was going to miss this dearly. This college gave me some heck of memories. I remember the time, this room was ambushed as a payback cuz I shaved off some dickhead’s head as revenge for cheating on my friend and later I broke his arm for another revenge.

I always believe in paybacks and revenge cuz the satisfaction is so unreal. The feeling of beating someone who did you wrong and hear all those cracks is extremely satisfactory. I have also wanted to kill someone like I don’t know but how cool would that be? If not kill, I at least want to shoot someone so that I don’t die with any regrets. Not that I would kill someone innocent- pfft are you crazy? I would kill someone who would deserve it, of course. It is on my wish list. I actually have a long wish list.

Kill someone, get involved in a fistfight, then get arrested, witness a baby pop out of a coochie, ride on a wolf’s back, I know they are dangerous animals but I have always been fascinated by them, and when I have a boyfriend I wanna knee him in the jewels and immediately reward him with kisses, start another food fight, knock out a man twice my size, drink a whole bottle of vodka under a minute, win in beer pong, do a strip show, get kidnapped and then saved like a damsel in distress even though I ain’t one, make out with a girl, see how many large pizzas I can eat in one sitting and beat my last record which is 4 and a half, go skinny dipping at 4 in the morning during the winters, and get high with a stranger.

Eh, prolly not the last one but yes.

Yeeeah, my wishes are a liiiiittle absurd.

Anyways, back to the topic, I dragged my bag all the way to the exit waving at some of the students that were also on their way to leave, thankfully I already bid my friends farewell cuz they bitches left as soon as the graduation was over.

Thankfully, my cab was already there so I don’t have to wait. Whoosh! The driver helped in placing my luggage in the trunk, not that I need any help but I’m unhealthy af and I already dragged my luggage, that was enough workout for me today. I could feel my arms straining.

Wiping a tear of sweat, I regretted wearing jeans with a jumper today, if I continue to sweat at this rate I would frickin die at this rate. I looked at the driver and ehh he seemed decent, no pervy looks or whatever.

I grabbed a light summer dress from my tote and looked in contemplation…..fuck it.

Ok, so undressing wasn’t as easy I thought. I easily removed my shirt and wore my dress while the driver looked bewildered and he gulped trying to focus on driving. It was jeans that were a pain in my ass. I squirmed around trying to remove them. Fuck me for wearing skinny jeans today.

Frickin finally, I removed my jeans and sighed in relief. I chuckled looking at the driver who looked horrified and laughed even more. Poor dude, I would prolly leave a generous tip to him, he at least deserves this much.

“-Umm….I…..I..didn’t…..erm…I-“ The driver stumbled upon his words trying to form a sentence and I smirked quite enjoying his discomfort as he looked at me through the mirror and gulped for the nth time.

“Never seen a girl changing before?” My smirked turn into a grin as I leaned forward and looked at him. Yup, he’s definitely traumatized.

He turned red and clenched the steering wheel, “N-no..actually…..ye-….but no” He looked very perplexed as if I told him I was in Mafia or something. I laughed and pat his shoulder.

“Relax dude, chill out” And as if this was all he needed, he nodded and sighed in discomfort yet again. I chuckled to myself and put my earbuds in, and looked out the window wishing for my destination to arrive fast.

“Fucking finally” I exclaimed as soon as the building came into the view and bounced on my seat in excitement.

The driver sighed in relief, stopping the car he got out to take my luggage out and I left him 20 dollas, I would have left him more but ya girl ain’t Bill Gates.

I took my luggage, my bag, and everything and made my way inside the beautiful rich looking building. I couldn’t stop my grin the entire time. Goooosh, is this what it feels like to be an adult?

From my 21 years of existence, this is the proudest moment of my life.

Making my way to the receptionist, I grabbed my keys, and everything was already done by my parents who were a little too eager to send me off and walked towards the elevator.

No fucking way.

Nah, this shit ain’t happening to me, not today, I looked around to see any cameras in case

someone was playing a prank on me or something and cried when there weren’t any.

UNDER MAINTENANCE, SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE, KINDLY TAKE THE STAIRS TO THE RIGHT ACROSS THE HALL.

These words mocked me as I stared at them in anger and with teary eyes. I stomped and kicked the elevator, taking my frustrations on the door. Humphing and grumping I made my way to the stairs, tightening my ponytail I got ready to climb up 10 fucking floors with a suitcase and a tote bag. Whose fucker idea was to get me a penthouse?

Oh, right, ME!

After what felt like years but were actually 30 minutes, I reached my home and wheezed as I crawled up the last few stairs. I laid on the floor trying to catch my breath. I was panting like a freaking banshee, I was covered in sweat, disgusted with myself, thankfully the floor was sparkling clean at least.

I pathetically stood up on my jelly-like legs, and difficultly walked towards my house. I was about to insert the key in the lock when I noticed it was already opened.

Immediately, I went in my ninja model, all tiredness leaving me as I stood in my defensive mode and grabbed the vase that was outside as decoration and threw away the flowers in it, and made my way inside. I took a deep breath and walked cautiously. The intruder can be anywhere.

Tiptoeing I looked around carefully not to make any noise – awww, the apartment looked so nice, cozy, homey, and beautiful, and-

SNAP OUT OF IT!

We have a target at hand, Riley, FOCUS! I checked the kitchen, all clear, no signs of intrusion, I froze as I heard a noise from one of the rooms, and rolled on the floor hiding behind the couch using my ninja-like reflexes and moves.

Ok, you got this Riley, just smash this vase on the intruder’s head, I bit my lip rethinking my decision. This was a pretty vase and maybe smashing was a little bit too extreme, cuz I’d have to clean it up afterward and the blood and then hide the body- nuh-uh too much work.

Placing the vase beside me, I stood up and clenched my fists. I was more than enough for

whoever is in the room. I made my way from which the noise was coming from and thank God the door was open. I sneakily went inside and THERE IT WAS. Or he was, facing towards the window, ok, now is the time.

I picked up the clock, yeah this wouldn’t hurt much, throwing my arm back I threw the clock at him full force and it was like he was a ninja too cuz he had cat-like reflexes so ducked and the clock narrowly missed his face and he turned around surprised.

Gasping, I looked at the beautiful piece of specimen in front of me and then it clicked.

He was my fucking flatmate.

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