Chapter 4: What He Knows
"Well?" I ask Alex again, keeping my tone light. "Aren't you going to answer my question? Do you have a girlfriend?"
His expression never wavers. "Not currently, much to my mom's disappointment."
"Well," I tease, trying to edge back down the hall, "you have to keep your eligible bachelor status, after all. Otherwise you'll break the hearts of thousands of tabloid readers the world over. Didn't you always tell me that relationships were overrated anyway?"
The old Alex would have laughed at that, but the new one just watches me closely with those intense blue eyes of his, a small wrinkle appearing between his brows.
"Are you sure everything's all right?" he asks me.
"Of course! Why wouldn't it be?" I've managed to progress a few steps backward down the hall, but he follows me, closing the distance between us again.
"Well, we've been speaking for about five minutes and you have yet to make a joke about my suit," he says.
"I've made plenty in my head," I say, forcing a laugh. "Tell me, did this suit cost more or less than your new car?"
He doesn't even crack a smile. "Something's wrong, Mae. I can tell."
I don't want to have this conversation - not right now, and certainly not with Mr. Suddenly Sexy. I mean, I know he means well - all the money in the world couldn't change that - but the man I see in front of me now is so far from the guy I knew that I can't imagine he'll ever really understand.
I back another step down the hall. "We better get back out there before your brother drinks all the punch."
He looks like he wants to say something else - the old Alex would have called me on my obvious bullshittery - but instead he just gives a nod of his head.
Before he can say another word, I turn and dash back outside.
I'm trying to think of an excuse to dip out of the party early when my mom calls out to me. "Honey, is everything all right?"
Seriously, I am the worst at this whole pretending-to-be-okay thing. I plaster on a smile as I walk over to her, but I'm sure she can see right through it.
"I just felt a little sick there for a moment," I tell her. "But it passed. I'm fine now."
She looks me up and down, then glances over her shoulder before leaning closer to me.
"Are you pregnant, honey?" she whispers.
"No!" I say quickly. "Definitely not." Thank God Wes and I always used protection.
"It's all right, honey, you can be honest with me," my mom says. "You only have two months until the wedding - you won't have to worry about showing, at least. It happens more often than you think. In fact, I was eight weeks along with your brother when your dad and I got married."
My brother, Walker, and I figured that out back when we were teenagers - I think sometimes parents forget that their kids can do basic math - but I really don't want to be talking about this now. Especially since I'm not having - nor will I ever have - Wes's baby.
"I swear, Mom, I'm not pregnant. I probably just have a cold or something."
Her lips purse. "In the middle of the summer?"
"Maybe I ate something that isn't sitting right," I say, grasping for anything that will get her off the subject. "Why don't we get in line for food?" Luke has just brought over the burgers and chicken skewers from the grill, and the other guests are already forming a line next to the table.
"Fine, honey," my mom says, but I still catch her looking at my belly with suspicion as we head over to the rapidly growing line.
There are always lines at the Grants' parties. It's inevitable, considering how many people are here. I pray that we aren't stuck next to anyone too talkative, but my stomach sinks when Eliza Trencher and Collette Richmond get into line just behind us.
Just for some context - Eliza is nearly seventy and can still recall bits of gossip she heard fifty-five years ago. And Collette, her niece, is wearing the largest, gaudiest hat here today - seriously, the thing features little birds made out of orange feathers with rhinestones for eyes. I used to joke with Alex that the bigger the hat, the crazier the busybody - and unfortunately, in Collette's case, that's true. The main hobby of Collette and Eliza seems to be spreading rumors. There's not a scandal in the recent history of Haverton that these two couldn't account in perfect detail.
"Where's James today?" Collette asks my mom. She's wearing an orange dress with a sequined bird over the left breast, and her shoes have been dyed to match.
"He's on shift, unfortunately," my mom says. "One of the boys has been out sick all week."
My dad works at the local fire station with Eliza's son, and my mom and the three women immediately launch into a lively conversation about the firehouse. I breathe a sigh of relief, grateful to be ignored for a minute, and glance around.
Alex and his family are at the back of the line. His parents are each chatting with someone - I can hear Norah's bright laugh over the other voices - but Alex is just staring right at me. I can feel the energy of his gaze all the way from here.
I quickly turn back around. What's his deal? Why can't he just take my word that nothing's wrong?
Because you're the world's worst liar, Mae. I guess if our situation were reversed and I thought he was having some sort of issue, I wouldn't let it go either. But our lives are so different now. Sure, I've told myself for years that nothing changed after he moved away, that we were always able to just pick up right where we left off...but that was an illusion, wasn't it? I mean, I know next to nothing about his day-to-day life. How can I still call him my best friend when even his voice sounds weird to me now? For the first time in my life, I actually feel awkward around him, and I know I can't blame that entirely on my current personal issues.
I don't want to think about what that really means.